The Pencil Cactus is no more. It has ceased to be. It’s expired and gone to meet his maker. It’s a stiff. Bereft of life, it rests in peace. It’s kicked the bucket. It’s shuffled off it’s mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the choir invisible.
THIS IS AN EX-PENCIL CACTUS!!
It’s quite hard to believe that a bit of gardening can turn into a fight to the death with a giant succulent, full of concentrated acid for blood, but it did.
After my first blinding encounter, using a blunt machete and harsh language, I decided to send in the ultimate Pencil Cactus nemesis: my mate Dave and a chainsaw!
The once mighty cacti, towering over 20 feet into the air (remembering that most Pencil Cactus grows to a measly 3 feet in a pot), was brought to its knees by a determined ‘Scouser’ (a chap from Liverpool) with funny goggles and a hat.
At the end, I kind of felt sorry for my worthy adversary. There it was; lovin’ life and growing out of control in the Caribbean sun, when all of a sudden we decide to make a community garden out of its verdant home for the last ten years.
A bit mean, really.
Still, there’s a few smaller ones dotted around outside the greenhouse, so who’s to say that in a decade from now, another poor sap (pun intended), won’t be writing the next chapter of this epic encounter; ‘Pencil Wars – Return of the Killer Cactus’!
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